When I found out that I was pregnant with our first child, I was elated.
We were very lucky, things happen very quickly for us. We went off of
the pill in April and by May I was pregnant. I had selfishly hoped that
the pregnancy would be an easy one as well. I am sorry to say that my
pregnancy was the complete opposite of the word "easy".
I had a lot of complications. There was bleeding and cramping during
my 5th month that sent me to the Labor and Delivery unit via ambulance.
I had a couple of asthma scares that almost put me into the hospital.
(Due to extreme nausea, I could not take my inhalers. My gag reflex would
kick in and I would vomit as soon as I inhaled.) I also had major false
labor that brought me back to L&D over and over again. They must have
thought I was crying wolf, because when I needed them to really be on
the ball, they dropped it entirely.
I had very severe vomiting all throughout the pregnancy and was even
put on medication to help keep things down. I still managed to gain over
40 lbs somehow in the end. The vomiting got worse towards the end of my
pregnancy. I would throw up several times in a day. This wasn't addressed
because I had such a "strong weight gain". In their opinion,
I was just one of those unfortunate women who have to deal with extreme
morning sickness.
About 2 months before my due date, I started to develop some pretty bad
edema. My feet and my legs started to swell. Even my hands became so swollen
that I could not keep my ring on if I wanted to. I was told that this
was normal and to not worry about it. However, I did worry when it continued
to get worse. Suddenly, I wasn't able to wear shoes that had been bought
larger to accommodate the last bout of swelling. I could not move around
without being in intense pain. My legs became so swollen that when someone
pressed on the skin, it gave the appearance of a sausage skin.
My doctor ignored my pleas that something was not right. My blood pressure
was slowing rising and even this was justified as "normal".
(I had what was considered "perfect" blood pressure all my life.
This was definitely not normal for me.)
Every time I went to L&D, they did an internal exam. Every single
time! (Sometimes more than once!) Even when I was there for my asthma,
I got an internal. (I don't know what these people were thinking! Looking
back on it now, I'm amazed that I didn't tell them off sooner. I guess
I just felt hopeless.)
I was told that what I was feeling wasn't really what I was feeling.
I was humiliated to the point that I almost stopped trusting my body.
(This is coming from someone that KNEW she was pregnant before a test
could be done. I just felt it!) I felt so out of control, it affected
everything in my life. My marriage, my friendships, everything.
I started getting severe headaches and I had ongoing pain in my right
side, under my ribs. I mentioned the headaches and I was blown off. I
was not strong enough to continue to fight the system I was in. (I was
going to a research hospital. All I can figure is that I was being used
as a case study. I hope they got the information they wanted.)
Sometime before Christmas, I had a seizure episode. The cause was never
determined. (I saw three different neurologists who all said that it was
indeed a seizure episode but that they didn't really understand why it
happened.) After it happened, I went into L&D via ambulance, a resident
looked at me (after 4 hours of waiting!) and pronounced that I did not
have a seizure and that I was fine. She sent me home with no answers.
(As I said above, this was debunked by the neurologists who saw me the
following Tuesday.)
The next Monday, I had blinding headaches that actually caused me to
faint. We went to L&D to get some tests done. (This is when they tested
me the first time for pre-e and it came back "normal".) I was
given an EEG. It came back completely normal. I had never had seizures
before this. Nor had I ever had severe headaches. When I refused to have
an MRI, I was bombarded with scare tactics. I was approached by 7 different
doctors, who all tried to convince me that I would die of a blood clot
in my brain if I didn't have the test done. I knew that I did not have
a blood clot, I knew it was something else, but they didn't listen. So,
I was sent home yet again.
We finally decided that there had to be someplace better and at 34 weeks,
my husband and I started trying to find someone else to help us. No other
doctors would consider taking us on. I got turned down again and again.
Finally, I thought, I would try a midwife. (When all the doors close on
you in one room, you sometimes have to go into another!) Maybe they could
figure out what was wrong with me and help me get through the remainder
of my pregnancy with some sanity intact.
This proved to be useful for only one thing. At 37 weeks, they finally
caught on that something was really wrong. While they were doing tests
at my home they found my bp was way up and I had protein in my urine.
I told them that my other doctor had stated that since I had been tested
previously for pre-eclampsia and the tests came back "normal",
I could not develop the condition. The midwives insisted that I be tested
again. Again, my test came back normal.
When I came back to L&D with worsening pre-eclamptic symptoms, they
decided to do a 24 hour urine test. When it was finished, I was told that
it was at a "borderline" level and that I should expect to be
induced very soon. I was relieved to hear that someone was finally taking
this seriously. However, I was to be disappointed again when it became
a game of "which doctor is on-call tonight". The opinion on
my pending induction changed every time we saw a new doctor. One time
it would be, "Oh, I see you being induced very soon!" the next,
"It isn't medically necessary, we might consider it when you are
39 weeks. We'd rather not. But don't worry, we won't let you go past 42
weeks!"
I started to fall apart emotionally. I was scared that it was going to
take something drastic before anyone would help me. Every time they did
a non-stress test, they said, "Oh, your baby looks wonderful! We
have no worries there!". Hello? I knew that my baby was fine. I would
have felt something if something was going wrong with her. I was more
concerned that something would happen to us both if they did not recognize
what was going on with me soon.
We had an appointment with the head of the high-risk group on a Tuesday.
(2 weeks before my due date) She barely looked at me and even managed
to talk over the top of my husband. (Who had become very good at voicing
his opinion to doctors at this point, although, they didn't listen.) She
informed us that while my bp was high, it had seemed to go down from what
it was previously. (Should I mention that I was on full bedrest at this
point? Every time I laid down, the bp would go down as well.) She said
that she was not concerned with the protein in the urine and that I would
not be induced. She left me crushed. I had come to this appointment in
slippers that hurt my feet because the elastic was so tight. No one even
recognized this. I thought to myself, how can these people be so blind?
I'm falling apart and they don't care!
I had done another 24 hour urine sample for them at home, which I dropped
off when I was at this appointment. According to my in-clinic test, the
protein had risen again. This was not addressed at all, until the next
day.
We were called at 11 am on Wednesday morning. We had just had a conversation
in which I had decided that I was giving up. I was going to let whatever
happen, happen, because obviously no one but my husband, mother, a few
friends and I were worried about my condition. I was shocked to receive
a phone call minutes later, asking me to come in to be induced. I called
my mother and while she was on her way from Wisconsin, we headed in.
At 2 pm, we arrived at the hospital. My cervix had not dilated at all
during all the contractions I had previously, so they were going to have
to use gels to get things going. It was awful! 22 hours of induction!
I thought I had been in pain before. I had no idea what was ahead of me.
I was given many drugs over the course of this induction to help with
the pain. Most did nothing. They gave me nubain to help me sleep, I slept
for 3 hours and then I was back into the severe contractions again.
I couldn't help it, towards the end of the induction, I was screaming.
It was the only way I could get through each contraction. I actually begged
my husband to tell them I wanted a c-section. I was losing my ability
to cope with anything. It was then decided that I should be checked before
anything would be done. To all of our surprise, I was half way there!
My real contractions never registered on their monitors! (They had convinced
me that the severe contractions I had before weren't really happening
because they never saw anything on their monitors. I will never put my
trust into those things ever again!)
The anesthesiologists were called and they ran into the room to get the
epidural in before it was too late. The contractions were getting very
hard and I was feeling a very strong urge to push. By the time they got
it in, I was at 7 cm and when I was checked again a few minutes later,
I was fully dilated and my bag of water was bulging. Everyone was running
around the room, it was a madhouse. My mother and husband positioned themselves
so that they were out of the way but still close by when I needed them.
The doctor told everyone to get ready. She said that once she broke my
water, everything would move really fast. (Like it wasn't moving quickly
already!) Finally they all settled around me, she broke the water and
the pushing was on! I pushed for 25 minutes and my wonderful daughter,
Simmone Leigh was born. Her apgars were 9 & 10. (They said that they
didn't usually give 10's and that she would have been 10 & 10 if she
wouldn't have had a little bit of blue in her hands a feet. I knew that
there was nothing wrong with her!) She weighed 7 lbs 11 oz and was 20"
long. She cried long enough to let everyone know that she was here and
then settled right down. I was the first person she looked at when she
opened her eyes.
They figure that my actual labor lasted only 5 1/2 hours! I'd say that
was pretty quick. I was told that women with pre-eclampsia tend to have
quicker labors than other women. I don't know if this is true. Who knows
how my labor would have gone had I not been induced.
My official diagnoses was "pre-eclampsia". My husband and I
both believe that I actually had eclampsia. (We aren't the only ones.
Unfortunately, none of the others are doctors.) It just goes to prove,
what do these doctors really know about this? From what I have seen, not
a whole lot.
Although I have since recovered from the symptoms of my ordeal, (at least
physically, I am still recovering emotionally) and I am actually starting
to feel more like my old self again, I am forever changed by this experience.
I never regret all that I had to go through for Simmone. My only regret
is that I could not get my suffering acknowledged earlier. The next time,
I will definitely put myself in a position where I will not be ignored.
I've been told that the chances of me getting this again are slim. However,
I am not going to take a chance that I will be with doctors who don't
listen to their patients ever again.