Latashua's story

My first pregnancy i was a teenage mother who was overdue at 42 wks and PE took effect during labor and delivery. It was a very mild form a PE blood pressure, swelling, cant recall if there was protein. But what i do remember was the baby heart rate dropping and being rolled side to side on the bed by a nurse. An c-section was performed because he passed a bowel while still inside. He was born weighin 7pds 14 ounces 21 inches long.

My second pregnancy I had been feeling odd for two days straight, back pain, pain under my rib, vomiting, and just miserable, i finally decided to go to the hospital after finding blood in my stool. and i was spotting. I went in around 10:30 explained to them how i was feeling, and the doctors thought that maybe i was going into preterm labor. The examined me said my cervix was closed and i thought i was fine. I took a urine test and they took blood. when reports came back from the lab, id say around 1:30 i was told that i was very sick and that they was going to have to deliver the baby right away.. I was 26 weeks... and from 16wks of pregnancy i was told that my baby wasnt growing, My triple screen blood test one had come back positive.. which was the protein in the blood. I was being seen every two weeks at the fetal assessment unit, which was trying to determine why my child was not growing. I refused an amniocentesis, they placed me on bed rest, and thought that maybe my child had some genetic disorder. by my 23rd week. I was told that there was little fluid around the baby and they were very concerned. even if they wanted to do a amnio they couldnt because of little fluid, so he wanted to go into the placenta.. which i refused even more because the risk of that is greater than the amnio. The doctor stated that my doctor should test me for Torch infections.. which i never got around to doing because i just knew that my baby would be fine. and i knew that God would take care of us. so im laying there at 26 weeks thinking of all that i went thought and im saying God ive come too far please dont take my baby. by 3:30 I began to see like 15 doctors come in my room every 5 seconds it felt like. introducing themselves and explaining the situation. It was confirrmed that the only way for me to survive was to deliver the baby by c-section , but the concerns was that my platelets counts were low, and my blood was having a hard time clotting. they didnt want to give me an epidural, because they thought i would bleed to death because the tube that was goinng to be inserted in my back could move because the blood wasnt clotting and i could be paralized or i could bleed to death. they wanted to give me a general anesthesia but the concerns for that was because i had eaten a half of turkey sandwich prior to my arriving at the hospital, it would be dangerous to place a tube down my throat to the lungs because food particals might enter the wind pipe, which would lead to choking to death. imagine sitting there getting this terribly frightening news, every 5 minutes from a different doctor. I was on magnesium and other medicine so i was kind of out of it. but i understood what they were saying. i believe i even asked one of the doctors well which one would you choose, paralization or death? i think he just looked at me and i stated at least i would be among the living. so about 4;30 i was being prepared to take a helicopter flight to a hospital in San diego. balboa naval medical center. i remember as soon as i got their i was rolled directly in the OR. to prepare for surgery i was given an alternate line through my artery because they new that i was going to need blood. I was put under general anesthesia where they then collapsed my lungs and entered a breathing tube. I had a beautiful daughter who was born around 6;42 p.m. April 18, 2001 she weighed 7.4 ounces (211 grams) the doctors couldnt find a breathing tube small enough to insert into her lungs because she was so small and her lungs wasnt mature enough although i was 26 wks pregnant her growth had stopped around the 16th wk of pregnancy. they finally brought her to my husband where he held her until she took her last breaths of air. she died at 7:30 p.m. We named her Jasmine Monique Richardson

i finally awoke which was an hour later (from what my husband told me) and i remember the first thing i asked him was wheres my baby, with a smile on my face, and he told me that she didnt make it. they had already tooken pictures of her, baptized her, and dressed her.. I was so hurt, and angry with God for taking my child away. I didnt understand and i may never understand but i know that God is in control and he knows and sees all. Had she lived she may have suffered and took on PE and still died or she could have lived a healthy normal life.. I dont know..I did get to hold my baby, and even though she had already passed i still felt her presence in my hospital room. I remember just holding her tiny body, playing with her feet and hands, and i rmember how she just looked as though she was sleeping. . we took pictures of her, this was to hellp me remember because some of the medication made me forget alot of thiings. I didnt want to let her out of my sight. and i knew that they had to take her away but i couldnt let them. I cried the next morning as my nurse was coming on her shift, she and my husband tried to comfort me but i had to let the tears flow. being on the labor & delivery floor. which is were it seemed (hell was all round me) I swear i heard a man say 50 thousand times in one of the delivery rooms next to me Its a girl!, its a girl!. I didnt have a tv in my room and when the corpsmen finally brought one in and turned it on. It was a live vaginal birth in process. I couldnt believe it.. i was like get the tv and vcr out of my room now.

the morning i was going to be taken to another floor was the morning i truly broke down and realized that my daughter wasnt going home with me. i spent 6 days in the hospital, and i finally got to come home. because my labs came bak normal. i thought was going to be a little easier but I didnt realize how much baby stuff i had around the house, and i hadnt bought Anything Yet. free pampers, free baby this. and that. It has been hard, and it still is hard, it has only been 8 days since her death, but some how it seems as if she is looking down at me and comforting me and helping me deal with her death even more. I have an extra gaurdian angel, and its my daughter.

This was a painful experience for me, besides being torchered by the doctors trying to insert iv's into my arms, alot of emotional pain. Alot of the pain comes from the "what ifs", of wondering if things were done differently would i still be pregnant, would my daughter still be here. I know i cant change my situation, but it sure can help alot of other folks who may find themselves going through the same thing. My daughters death and my situation has made me thirst for knowledge to know why and what PE/HELLP is and how when the two are combined it leads to doctors misdiagnosis. I mean the whole time. i was going though this none of my doctors thought to even suspect that I had hellp syndrome, which is present before pre-eclampsia starts. I can remember asking one doctor well is it normal for a child to not grow properly while in the mothers womb, and he just shook his head no.. like it didnt even matter. *ugh*

Im glad that i came upon this site it has truly helped me in understanding this disease, and it has been a great support with dealing with the loss of my daughter and helping us to be prepared for our next pregnancy. Although i am scared im not going to let it frighten me out of having another child. I believe in Gods divine plan for his people, and what ever comes my way I know He is able.

Latashua Richardson.